Norm and Candy in Transition

Sunday, May 29, 2011 was my last Sunday to preach and lead worship as the pastor of Central Christian Church in Dallas, Texas. It was an emotional mix of sadness, gratitude and anticipation. My final messages were from John 15:1-8 and 9-17: Any Last Words? Abide in Jesus (05-22) and Any Last Words? Love Each Other (05-29). If you’re interested you should be able to listen to them at www.cccdt.org. The music people went all out to make a festive celebration. Rev. Dr. Larry Ross, Area Minister for the North Texas Area, and his wife Judy were there. Besides our pastoral relationship, they have been good couple friends. Larry lead a prayer of commissioning that concluded both the service and our time with Central Christian Church.

I have moved almost everything out of my office and will be cleaning on Tuesday. On Wednesday we will take care of details to be ready to leave for the Midwest on Thursday. Our plan is to see Candy’s Dad in Minneapolis, then stop to see Rachel and David, Sam and Elizabeth in Milwaukee. From there we’ll make a quick stop in Batavia, Illinois to see my Mom and my sister, Elaine, and her husband Max. The last stop will be in Grand Island, Nebraska to see Candy’s Aunt Vonnie and Uncle Roger, before returning to Dallas.

After returning from our Midwest tour, I anticipate beginning a new phase of ministry as an interim pastor. You can learn more about this from the Interim Pastor Journey link in the left margin. We have met with one church and are anticipating their answer with hope and expectancy.

Erik the Manager

After completing his management certification test yesterday, Erik started as assistant manager at the Pei Wei restaurant in Lewisville, TX in the afternoon. He started working there as a cashier when he was still a college student and got to become a key employee. Then on to management training at the restaurant in Las Colinas before going back to Lewisville. The path from a good student job to beginning a professional career has be longer and probably with more twists and turns than necessarily wanted, but is satisfying. For a few days Erik will overlap with the present assistant manager before he (the other assistant manager) moves to another restaurant.

Erik's student jobs moved him through a variety of food service experiences. They started as the typical student employment but cultivated a connection with this business that has prepared him for this next opportunity. In the process, he has also developed considerable culinary skills, which we enjoy when he cooks for us at home. What a treat! Erik's sociology degree is an asset as human relations is an important part of this job: staff management and customer service.

The Raven Charter, the band with whom Erik plays, continues to build its fan base. It keeps his music passion alive and thriving. They also are learning more and more about business management all of the time. They have a potentially large audience gig this Friday (at "The Trees" for you familiar with the Dallas music scene).

This is an important step on his journey to adult independence, which right now is focused on getting an appropriate car of his own. Past that comes moving out on his own as well, coordinated with our transition into interim pastoral ministry, which we expect will take place this spring/summer. We are open to where God might lead us, anywhere in the country, but definitely see this as a process (not a great time to sell a house right now) and an adventure for the next stage of our life and ministry.

Happy New Year 2011!

We have plenty of rationalizations for sending greetings after the New Year rather than before Christmas, as a letter rather than in the Stolpe Star format. The one that may make some sense is that 2010 has been a year of sorting out decisions and preparing for 2011 as a year of anticipating significant transitions for the Stolpes.

We have invested major prayer, time and energy into discerning God’s direction for the next step in Norm’s ministry career. He intends to begin serving as an intentional interim/transitional pastor and has activated his Search and Call Profile with the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). In conversation with the leadership of Central Christian Church, we have agreed that Norm will wrap up his tenure with them by June 1. With over ten years as their pastor, Norm’s has been the longest pastorate with Central Christian Church since 1978, so we make this change with considerable satisfaction.

In September we combined our vacation with Norm’s study leave to visit Leanne and Jon, Hannah and Isaac in Pennsylvania. We enjoyed a relaxed two weeks: Hannah’s first middle school cross country meet, Isaac’s piano lesson, a leisurely visit to a Scottish-Irish Festival and two Sundays worshipping with them at Christ’s Church of the Valley.

Norm took The Intentional Interim Minister class from the Interim Ministry Network in nearby Devon, PA. He had taken Fundamentals of Interim Ministry in 2009 in Marble Falls, Texas. He did his practicum with Central Christian Church’s leadership on the Developmental Tasks for Congregations in Transition. With two of five conference call sessions left, he should receive his certification for interim pastoral ministry in February.

We hope to serve five or six more churches in the next few years before Norm retires. Though we haven’t started doing the hands-on work yet, we are planning to downsize and become a lot more nimble. Staying in our Dallas home for another year or so could help with this, but we are open to following God’s lead in just about any direction. We are focusing on enjoying this next stage of life, and we’ll see what God has for us farther down the road in retirement.

Erik has lived with us for a year and a half now since graduating from the University of North Texas. He has continued working for Pei Wei Asian Diner. It was a good college job, and we are thankful he had work in this economy, but the income was inadequate for getting up and out on his own and didn’t use enough of what he has to offer. He did move up to become a “key employee.” He explored several other possibilities, none of which really opened up. On Monday, January 3 he starts management training with Pei Wei, and he seems excited about these possibilities. Besides being a good step toward a professional career, he is (and we are) hoping this will enable him to get out on his own early in 2011. He still plays with Raven Charter, a band that has developed from and gone beyond high school friends. They still play live gigs but are putting more attention into recording.

Candy’s Dad is still in his own home in Minneapolis. He is doing well but getting to the place where he doesn’t want to be alone and have all the work of keeping up the house. We are communicating so we can coordinate our transition and his situation. Having lived his whole life in Minnesota, considering moving is challenging for him. So fitting together Erik’s plans and Candy’s Dad’s plans is a significant part of our 2011 transition.

David also made a transition in 2010. After eleven years as a teacher and supervisor at St. Charles alternative school, David completed his studies at Marquette University to get his Wisconsin Principal’s License. That opened the opportunity for him to take a new position as Dean of Students for Frank Lloyd Wright Intermediate School in West Allis, Wisconsin. He is being stretched by the new challenges but enjoying this step in his career and new responsibilities with new people (administrators, teachers and students).

Elizabeth (Bitsy) is in a public school Montessori pre-kindergarten. Sam is in third grade. He plays piano, and Elizabeth dances while he plays. She had Achilles tendon lengthening surgery this year which should finish her club foot treatments. Candy enjoyed a trip to Milwaukee to be with Rachel and David, Sam and Elizabeth after Elizabeth’s surgery. She now uses her legs in ballet lessons. Rachel is very involved in the kids’ school and continues to nanny some.

Jon continues working as a manager with Siemens in their building automation division. Leanne resigned as director of their church’s weekday preschool. She has been doing some volunteering with some special needs children at the YMCA, which gets her back working directly with children with less stress than being the school administrator. Hannah turned thirteen (yes, we now have a teen age grandchild to remind us we are aging). She runs cross country, plays violin and has established a handmade jewelry business. Isaac is in fifth grade, soon moving from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts, plays piano and trumpet.

In 2009 and 2010, we were looking ahead to the future, preparing, imagining, praying. But it all seemed fairly remote, something that was down the road but off toward the horizon. But when we returned to Texas from our Pennsylvania trip in September, we felt an acceleration of the journey and immediacy of our future. Our anxieties and uncertainties have been met with affirmation of many people what we believe are God’s confirmations. Many details must still fit together. Though sometimes feeling a bit overwhelmed, we also feel some sense of adventure. Through the moves we have made in 42 years together, we have identified Abraham living in tents in the land of promise (Hebrews 11:8-10) as a metaphor for our journey. In 2011 we are being called to live it in a new level.

Thanks to our dear friends and family for prayers as we go through these transitions. We do cherish your Christmas cards and letters. May God bless each of you in this New Year.

Peace,

Norm and Candy

Erik Starts Management Training with Pei Wei

Last night was Erik's last shift as a casher at Pei Wei Asian Diner in Lewisville, TX, and this morning he began management training at Pei Wei in Las Colinas, TX. As he steps from what had been a good part-time college student job to a full-time professional position, he also takes another step toward independent adulthood. He is working on getting his schedule, finances, etc. adjusted with the goal of moving out of our house and managing all of his affairs. He has seemed excited to go to work each day once he knew he'd be taking this step in 2011. He got up at 6:00 AM today, positively motivated to get off to a good start.

Erik's progress is one more piece of the puzzle we are putting together for our future. Downsizing and becoming more nimble so I can begin a new phase of ministry as an intentional interim pastor - serving congregations in their transitions between pastors. We do not know where this adventure may take us, as we anticipate serving different congregations for about a year at a time. Wrapping up our 10+ years as pastor of Central Christian Church in Dallas, Texas by June 1 and finding that first interim pastor opportunity is a major piece of this puzzle, into which the other pieces will be fitting. Even as we are in the process of seeing Erik off on his own in 2011, we are coordinating and communicating with Candy's Dad (who lives in Minneapolis), so our plans can merge and we can support him at this stage of his life too.

Our emotions are also a cluster of puzzle pieces that are still shifting around before they all fit together: anxiety and excitement, disconnect and anticipation. Lots of prayer - lots of work.

God Showed Up Between the Grief Spaces

On November 30 I arrived at a senior residence to visit a church member about 4:30 PM. She was seated at the dinner table with another woman, but the tables were not set and food had not yet come for supper. I spoke with my friend, read a Psalm and prayed with her. The other woman at the table seemed glad to be included and reached out her hand to thank me. As I got up I noticed a woman sitting alone at the next table and crying. I stopped and introduced myself as a pastor. Through her tears I really couldn’t understand what she was saying, but I blessed her and walked toward the elevator.

The floor supervisor and social worker were standing in the hallway talking and making calls on cell phones, almost blocking the hallway. As I tried to slip past them the social worker spoke to me. “You’re a pastor.” “Yes,” I answered. “We have a woman whose husband just died and the family has asked for a chaplain. If we get the family’s OK would you stay for a few minutes and visit with her?” Of course I said I would. After a phone OK from someone in the family, the social worker got the woman who had been crying alone at the table and brought her (and me) to her room in her wheelchair.

After I was introduced, I ask her if she wanted to tell me about her husband. She did. As I started reading her a Psalm, two women from the family came in. I introduced myself again, read the Psalm and prayed. In the ensuing conversation I learned that this woman and her husband had moved from out of town to that facility just four days earlier. She was declining and needed more care than her seemingly stronger husband could give her. He was in an independent living apartment and she in a skill care room.

This woman and her relatives all expressed not only thanks for my visit but interpreted it as God specific timing that I would be available as I must have done this often since I knew just what to say to bring comfort. I mentioned that I would be noting our experience in my “God Watch” calendar (where I record how I was most aware of God’s presence each day). They asked if I would include her when I made my weekly visits there.

I believe God showed up in the space of grief between us that afternoon.

David's New Job and More ...

Elizabeth (Bitsy) is recovering so well that her time in the cast was shortened by a couple of weeks.

Grandma Candy came back to Dallas impressed with how much Sam is growing up and how mature he is.
David (our son, Sam and Elizabeth’s dad, Rachel’s husband – you all probably knew that anyway) accepted the position as Dean of Students for Frank Lloyd Wright Intermediate School in West Allis, WI. He starts on August 24. After 11 years as a teacher and supervisor in the alternative school, this is a great opportunity and a wonderful next step.

It confirms his strong sense of God’s calling to be an educator. It brings together many of his life experiences. Fascination with Frank Lloyd Wright in 6th grade; becoming an “expert” in his own ADHD learning disability in high school; experiential learning at Sterling College in Craftsbury Common, VT; summer work with NYC street kids at Mont Lawn Camp in the Pocono Mountains, PA; teaching Bible to boys and soil management to farmers in Zambia; meeting Rachel and getting a start in professional education at Children's World when he couldn’t find an environmental job; substitute teaching for Milwaukee Public Schools; eleven years of experience with St. Charles; getting a masters degree and teaching certificate from Concordia College (Mequon, WI) and his principal’s license from Marquette University. He and I were talking the other day about the convergence of things that seemed inconsequential or even side tracks when they happened and how they (and the people who invested a lot in him over the years) contributed to this important next step. Nothing is wasted in God’s economy!

Elizabeth

Our granddaughter Elizabeth (Bitsy) had surgery on July 7 to lengthen her Achilles tendon, with the hopes that this is the last step in correcting her club foot. Once she got past the post-surgery recovery room, she has done well, and in quite moble with her cast, which she will have to wear for six weeks (1 down, 5 to go). Candy is in Milwaukee this week for some Grandma-Time. Erik and Norm are managing with the dogs in Dallas.