STOLPE STAR - a year of transitions

Extended Family Trip South to North and Back

I have posted our 2011 Christmas letter content here with pictures, but the layout is not the same as what we emailed. Each article is a separate post, all done on December 29. Someday I may figure out how to put a pdf into blogger.

· With Candy’s Dad in Minneapolis enjoying an old-timey music concert in the park. (2 pictures)
· Lunch with Rachel, David, Sam and Elizabeth in their Milwaukee kitchen being remodeled.
· Norman and Candy with their niece Helen Williams in Rachel and David’s back yard.
· Lunch with Candy’s Aunt Vonnie and Uncle Roger in Grand Island, Nebraska.
· Sand Hill Cranes stop on the Platte River in Nebraska during migration.

Traveling Transitions

Norman finished up eleven years as pastor of Central Christian Church in Dallas, Texas the end of May and began as Interim Pastor for First Christian Church of Duncanville, Texas on September 1. In between they marked this transition with a trip to the Midwest to visit extended family.

First destination was Candy’s Dad in Minneapolis, where they had not visited for a few years. He is still in his own home but considering what his next steps need to be. Though not settling on plans, the face-to-face connection was important as this transition approaches.

Then to Milwaukee to Rachel and David, Sam and Elizabeth. On the last day of school Norm and Candy visited Sam’s and Elizabeth’s classes and closing staff lunch with Frank Lloyd Wright Intermediate School in West Allis, where David is the Dean of Students. This visit also included a homemade ice cream supper with Milwaukee Mennonite Church. David made “Hemingway’s Flaming Coronary.” Helping Rachel get the garden in included rescuing potatoes from the compost and planting them for good harvest.

Next was a couple of days with Norman’s Mom at Holmstadt Retirement Community in Batavia, Illinois. At 91, every chance to see her is a privilege. They were able to stay with Norman’s sister Elaine and her husband Max.

The last stop before heading home was in Grand Island , NE to see Candy’s Aunt Vonnie and Uncle Roger. Candy and Vonnie went through a lot of Ronngren family memories and connections.

Several years had passed since they took such a car trip. It formed a buffer between stages in Norman’s career and gave extended time to talk, reflect and pray over the transitions of 2011.

Adieu Amber

Amber came with Norman, Candy and Erik from Wisconsin in 2000 as a young dog just having outgrown puppyhood. Texas summers were harder than Wisconsin winters. When Erik moved back in after college, she had to learn to live with his two dogs, Tess and Isis. With collapsing hips in old age she left us in June 2011.

Norman Begins A New Phase of Ministry as an Interim Pastor

“Retirement” is certainly not the right word, even though the Christian Church Pension Board now considers Norman a retired pastor. Starting Medicare and denominational pension (but not social security or other retirement resources) may make this official but the reality is he has moved into a new phase of ministry.

Since 2010 Norman and Central Christian Church had been communicating to coordinate the trajectories of pastoral and congregational ministries. Approaching eleven years made Norman’s the longest pastorate for Central Christian Church since 1978, and plans for a new era of outreach and growth called for fresh leadership. Approaching age 65, Norman knew he wasn’t ready to retire but was prepared for a new phase of ministry.

Prayerful consideration was given to hospital or hospice chaplaincy, spiritual director and retreat leader and interim pastoral ministry. Conversations with people in each of these fields and exploration of the necessary preparation and credentials kept pointing toward interim pastoral ministry.

Interim Ministry Network training and activating his profile with the Office of Search and Call of the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ) propelled Norman into his first “job search” in over a decade. But this was different. Not looking for a settled position but for a congregation whom Norman could help guide through their transition between pastors. It opened an era of perpetual job searching.

Norman and Candy visited two congregations in San Antonio, where he preached and was interviewed. Phone conversations explored possibilities with several other congregations. Then all the arrows began pointing to 1st Christian Church in Duncanville, TX, where Norman began as interim pastor on September 1.

Duncanville is about 22 miles of almost all freeway driving straight south of Norman and Candy’s home. The congregation just celebrated their 118th anniversary and has developed along with the Duncanville community. A small farming community with country culture until the suburban sprawl south of Dallas began to absorb them in the 60s. 1st Christian flourished with suburbia. As urbanization brought economic, cultural and ethnic diversity in the 21st century, 1st Christian Church is pursuing an intentional transition for effective ministry in this emerging environment. Norman’s experience and perspective seems well suited to preparing the congregation to welcome a new pastor to lead them in this new era of ministry.

How Transition is Changing Us — By Norman

For the last couple of years I have been aware of being in a time of transition in my career, and for 2010 and into 2011 I was quite consciously guiding Central Christian Church on their transition not only to new pastors (Rev. Drs. Steve and Debbie Chisolm) but to a new era of ministry.

In this process, God is changing me. I am having to come to terms with the “living in tents” metaphor (Hebrews 11:9-11) that I have claimed for many years. After long relationships with three congregations (12, 17 and 11 years), I hope to have approximately one year relationships with at least another 5 or 6 congregations. This is not just a new place to serve every year but a recognition that I am personally changing at least as much as I was as an adolescent and young adult.


Candy and I are in our own transition even as we are guiding this congregation through their transition. Erik is still living with us, so we are also participants in his transition from college student to fully independent adult. As he is addressing some of those challenges, we are constantly trying to balance granting him adult independence and supporting him on his journey.

As appealing as some time in San Antonio might have been, in light of our own transitions, we are thankful to be able to all be in our home together, rather than have a commuter marriage and ministry. In retrospect, we are also very thankful to be at 1st Christian Church in Duncanville. They have welcomed us very quickly (quick in and quick out is part of being an interim pastor). We are already enriched by these new friends as we have been by all of you “from our past.” They recognize God has them at the threshold of something new and are open and enthusiastic about my leadership and have been good sports about trying new things. I am having a lot of fun as their interim pastor.

Interim pastoral ministry brings the freedom of not having been part of the history and being able to hand the future off to someone else. I am thankful to be serving this congregation as my first interim pastorate. I know from experience and the Interim Ministry Network training that the interim period between pastors can be traumatic and conflictual. I know that I’m likely to face this with another congregation, but starting in a fairly healthy congregation is a gift.

We are finding walking with this congregation’s transitions to be God’s gift to help us with our life transitions.

Not Ready for Christmas

Christmas is not over but only begun. I am completing our Christmas letter on December 26, the second day of Christmas (Boxing Day in the UK, the Feast of Stephen for Good King Wenceslas). Maybe it’s just a rationalization to tell ourselves that if we get Christmas taken care of in the 12 Days (before Epiphany on January 6), we’re still on time. We’ve been aware the slowing down has been coming on for a while. Maybe this year we’re just accepting it. When Simeon saw the 40 day old Jesus (Luke 2:29-32) he was ready to leave this life having seen God’s salvation. Though not expecting to depart any time soon, perhaps our more relaxed approach to Christmas comes as our vision of God’s salvation gets clearer and closer.
Merry Christmas to you all!
from Norm for Candy too

Three Brothers Update

Erik
After completing management training, Erik became the Assistant Manager at the Pei Wei Asian Diner in Lewisville, Texas. Near the end of 2011 he was transferred to be the Assistant Manager at the Highland Village restaurant, about 20 miles north of our home where he and his dogs, Tess and Isis, live with us.

David
David is now in his second year as Dean of Students at Frank Lloyd Wright Intermediate School in West Allis, Wisconsin. Rachel continues to nanny some nights and mother Sam (10) and Elizabeth (5) every day. Penguins are Sam’s mascot pandas Elizabeth’s. Sam has begun playing cello. Elizabeth has enjoyed ballet in 2011 and loves to sing! They continue to be active in the leadership of Milwaukee Mennonite Church.

Jon
Jon continues to manage an automated building controls engineering group with Siemans in Blue Bell, Pennsylvania. Leanne has had a good year of mental health and is working with special needs children as a behavioral therapist. Hannah (14) is raising another seeing eye puppy. Isaac (11) grows in trumpet and piano. They continue to be active in leadership with Christ’s Church of the Valley in Royersford.

Transition to a New Adventure

YOU'LL HAVE TO READ THE WHOLE POST TO FIGURE OUT THE PICTURES, WHICH ARE IN REVERSE OF CHRONOLOGICAL ORDER. SORRY.

One month shy of eleven years we finished our pastoral tenure with Central Christian Church in Dallas, Texas. Officially “retiring” (as far and the Pension Board is concerned), we are embarking on a new adventure in ministry. I am expecting to begin serving congregations as an intentional interim/transitional pastor very soon. This will be quite a contrast to the long relationships we had with previous congregations (11 ½ years in IL, 17 in NJ and nearly 11 years in TX – only WI was brief). I completed the training offered by the Interim Ministry Network in early spring, having started in 2009.

Central Christian Church gave us a lavish if emotional send off, and we released them to God’s care (and Revs. Drs. Debbie and Steve Chisolm who will be their new pastors starting in July) with gratitude and satisfaction. Pragmatics, from auto mechanics to schedule twists, kept us from a real vacation the last couple of years. At this transition point, we needed not only vacation (I believe I worked hard up to the last day at Central Christian Church) and an opportunity for making some solid family connections. As a couple, we also needed not just a break between the old and the new but some leisurely time to process our transition. So we invested in getting our 1999 Chevy Blazer trip worthy and headed out on June 2.

Our only motel stay in 2600+ miles was in Emporia, KS on our way to Minneapolis to spend time with Candy’s Dad. We had not seen him since he came to TX for Erik’s college graduation two years ago, and we had not visited him for three years. Besides the good conversational connection, we also had opportunity to compare notes about coordinating our plans for our futures. Among other things, we enjoyed an evening of old timey music at Centennial Lakes Park. While in Minnesota, we also visited Candy’s Uncles Wes and Don. Both of them have been facing some health and aging issues lately, so it was good to have time with them.

One month shy of eleven years we finished our pastoral tenure with Central Christian Church in Dallas, Texas. Officially “retiring” (as far and the Pension Board is concerned), we are embarking on a new adventure in ministry. I am expecting to begin serving congregations as an intentional interim/transitional pastor very soon. This will be quite a contrast to the long relationships we had with previous congregations (11 ½ years in IL, 17 in NJ and nearly 11 years in TX – only WI was brief). I completed the training offered by the Interim Ministry Network in early spring, having started in 2009.

Central Christian Church gave us a lavish if emotional send off, and we released them to God’s care (and Revs. Drs. Debbie and Steve Chisolm who will be their new pastors starting in July) with gratitude and satisfaction. Pragmatics, from auto mechanics to schedule twists, kept us from a real vacation the last couple of years. At this transition point, we needed not only vacation (I believe I worked hard up to the last day at Central Christian Church) and an opportunity for making some solid family connections. As a couple, we also needed not just a break between the old and the new but some leisurely time to process our transition. So we invested in getting our 1999 Chevy Blazer trip worthy and headed out on June 2.

Our only motel stay in 2600+ miles was in Emporia, KS on our way to Minneapolis to spend time with Candy’s Dad. We had not seen him since he came to TX for Erik’s college graduation two years ago, and we had not visited him for three years. Besides the good conversational connection, we also had opportunity to compare notes about coordinating our plans for our futures. Among other things, we enjoyed an evening of old timey music at Centennial Lakes Park. While in Minnesota, we also visited Candy’s Uncles Wes and Don. Both of them have been facing some health and aging issues lately, so it was good to have time with them. We also met Sue, Candy's Dad's boarder.

On June 8 we headed to Milwaukee to be with Rachel and David, Sam and Elizabeth. We got to be with both kids and David on their last days of school. What fun! David gave us a tour of Frank Lloyd Wright Intermediate School in West Allis, WI where he finished his first year as Dean of Students. Many told us how much they appreciated him, and we are thankful that his contract has been renewed for next year (in this era of educational cutbacks).

I helped Rachel get her vegetable and herb garden in. Candy soaked up some of the peace and joy of Lake Michigan. We enjoyed gyros, donuts and frozen custard with our friends Beth and Terry Boschert. My niece Helen came down from Madison, WI and we enjoyed a good visit with her too. We celebrated Pentecost with Rachel and David and their church, Milwaukee Mennonite. The supper feature after worship was homemade ice cream and homemade Amish pretzels. David made three flavors of ice cream including Flaming Hemingway’s Coronary (lime juice, cilantro and cayenne peppers and all heavy cream – no milk or even half-and-half). Of course, the highlight of our time in Milwaukee was our grandchildren: Sam and Elizabeth. They are growing up and so much fun!

We headed to Illinois to see my Mom, and we stayed with my sister, Elaine, and her husband, Max. A lot of our time with my Mom was spent looking at the “scrapbook” (it was a lot classier than that sounds) of letters and pictures given to us as a remembrance by Central Christian Church. At 91, my Mom gets most of her satisfaction out of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. Though we talk on the phone all the time, nothing beats face to face conversation and real hugs. Conversation with Max and Elaine was also positive and important as they are going through a transition as well. A work injury had Max off the job as a school bus mechanic for about a year. Not long after returning to work as a school bus driver, he had a stroke, which mostly affected his speech. He's doing much better now, thankfully. He’s also starting his pension and looking for work that suits his new time of life.

June 15 took us 593 miles to Grand Island, NE to visit Candy’s Aunt Vonnie and Roger Nelson. Vonnie is the last surviving sibling of Candy’s mother, and she and Candy had a wonderful and important time connecting about all kinds of family things, and copying some family documents for Candy. Roger is a retired Presbyterian pastor, with whom I have always felt a warm connection. Conversation with him was very helpful as I process our transition. He is very involved with Habitat for Humanity and does tours when the Sand Hill Cranes stop on the Platte River for about 6 weeks around March each year on their way from Central America to northern Canada, Alaska and Siberia. Though the cranes were not there, he took me to the river. He also told me about his acquaintance with Sigurd Olson, who is one of our son David’s environmental heroes (founder of Northland College where David graduated in Ashland, WI). Roger has autographed copies of several of Sigurd Olson’s books.

We returned to Dallas on June 18 with 637 miles for reflective conversation between us. Besides the intrinsic value of the trip, and each stop and each one we had time with, this trip drew a wonderful boundary between the calling we have followed for the last eleven years and the future adventure that lies ahead of us. It helped up resolve some of our anxieties and uncertain expectations. We still don’t know exactly what God has for us next, but we are affirmed again in a new and perhaps more dramatic way in the metaphor of Abraham’s living in tents in Hebrews 11:9-10. “By faith he stayed for a time in the land he had been promised, as in a foreign land, living in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he looked forward to the city that has foundations, whose architect and builder is God.”

Norm and Candy in Transition

Sunday, May 29, 2011 was my last Sunday to preach and lead worship as the pastor of Central Christian Church in Dallas, Texas. It was an emotional mix of sadness, gratitude and anticipation. My final messages were from John 15:1-8 and 9-17: Any Last Words? Abide in Jesus (05-22) and Any Last Words? Love Each Other (05-29). If you’re interested you should be able to listen to them at www.cccdt.org. The music people went all out to make a festive celebration. Rev. Dr. Larry Ross, Area Minister for the North Texas Area, and his wife Judy were there. Besides our pastoral relationship, they have been good couple friends. Larry lead a prayer of commissioning that concluded both the service and our time with Central Christian Church.

I have moved almost everything out of my office and will be cleaning on Tuesday. On Wednesday we will take care of details to be ready to leave for the Midwest on Thursday. Our plan is to see Candy’s Dad in Minneapolis, then stop to see Rachel and David, Sam and Elizabeth in Milwaukee. From there we’ll make a quick stop in Batavia, Illinois to see my Mom and my sister, Elaine, and her husband Max. The last stop will be in Grand Island, Nebraska to see Candy’s Aunt Vonnie and Uncle Roger, before returning to Dallas.

After returning from our Midwest tour, I anticipate beginning a new phase of ministry as an interim pastor. You can learn more about this from the Interim Pastor Journey link in the left margin. We have met with one church and are anticipating their answer with hope and expectancy.

Erik the Manager

After completing his management certification test yesterday, Erik started as assistant manager at the Pei Wei restaurant in Lewisville, TX in the afternoon. He started working there as a cashier when he was still a college student and got to become a key employee. Then on to management training at the restaurant in Las Colinas before going back to Lewisville. The path from a good student job to beginning a professional career has be longer and probably with more twists and turns than necessarily wanted, but is satisfying. For a few days Erik will overlap with the present assistant manager before he (the other assistant manager) moves to another restaurant.

Erik's student jobs moved him through a variety of food service experiences. They started as the typical student employment but cultivated a connection with this business that has prepared him for this next opportunity. In the process, he has also developed considerable culinary skills, which we enjoy when he cooks for us at home. What a treat! Erik's sociology degree is an asset as human relations is an important part of this job: staff management and customer service.

The Raven Charter, the band with whom Erik plays, continues to build its fan base. It keeps his music passion alive and thriving. They also are learning more and more about business management all of the time. They have a potentially large audience gig this Friday (at "The Trees" for you familiar with the Dallas music scene).

This is an important step on his journey to adult independence, which right now is focused on getting an appropriate car of his own. Past that comes moving out on his own as well, coordinated with our transition into interim pastoral ministry, which we expect will take place this spring/summer. We are open to where God might lead us, anywhere in the country, but definitely see this as a process (not a great time to sell a house right now) and an adventure for the next stage of our life and ministry.

Happy New Year 2011!

We have plenty of rationalizations for sending greetings after the New Year rather than before Christmas, as a letter rather than in the Stolpe Star format. The one that may make some sense is that 2010 has been a year of sorting out decisions and preparing for 2011 as a year of anticipating significant transitions for the Stolpes.

We have invested major prayer, time and energy into discerning God’s direction for the next step in Norm’s ministry career. He intends to begin serving as an intentional interim/transitional pastor and has activated his Search and Call Profile with the Christian Church (Disciples of Christ). In conversation with the leadership of Central Christian Church, we have agreed that Norm will wrap up his tenure with them by June 1. With over ten years as their pastor, Norm’s has been the longest pastorate with Central Christian Church since 1978, so we make this change with considerable satisfaction.

In September we combined our vacation with Norm’s study leave to visit Leanne and Jon, Hannah and Isaac in Pennsylvania. We enjoyed a relaxed two weeks: Hannah’s first middle school cross country meet, Isaac’s piano lesson, a leisurely visit to a Scottish-Irish Festival and two Sundays worshipping with them at Christ’s Church of the Valley.

Norm took The Intentional Interim Minister class from the Interim Ministry Network in nearby Devon, PA. He had taken Fundamentals of Interim Ministry in 2009 in Marble Falls, Texas. He did his practicum with Central Christian Church’s leadership on the Developmental Tasks for Congregations in Transition. With two of five conference call sessions left, he should receive his certification for interim pastoral ministry in February.

We hope to serve five or six more churches in the next few years before Norm retires. Though we haven’t started doing the hands-on work yet, we are planning to downsize and become a lot more nimble. Staying in our Dallas home for another year or so could help with this, but we are open to following God’s lead in just about any direction. We are focusing on enjoying this next stage of life, and we’ll see what God has for us farther down the road in retirement.

Erik has lived with us for a year and a half now since graduating from the University of North Texas. He has continued working for Pei Wei Asian Diner. It was a good college job, and we are thankful he had work in this economy, but the income was inadequate for getting up and out on his own and didn’t use enough of what he has to offer. He did move up to become a “key employee.” He explored several other possibilities, none of which really opened up. On Monday, January 3 he starts management training with Pei Wei, and he seems excited about these possibilities. Besides being a good step toward a professional career, he is (and we are) hoping this will enable him to get out on his own early in 2011. He still plays with Raven Charter, a band that has developed from and gone beyond high school friends. They still play live gigs but are putting more attention into recording.

Candy’s Dad is still in his own home in Minneapolis. He is doing well but getting to the place where he doesn’t want to be alone and have all the work of keeping up the house. We are communicating so we can coordinate our transition and his situation. Having lived his whole life in Minnesota, considering moving is challenging for him. So fitting together Erik’s plans and Candy’s Dad’s plans is a significant part of our 2011 transition.

David also made a transition in 2010. After eleven years as a teacher and supervisor at St. Charles alternative school, David completed his studies at Marquette University to get his Wisconsin Principal’s License. That opened the opportunity for him to take a new position as Dean of Students for Frank Lloyd Wright Intermediate School in West Allis, Wisconsin. He is being stretched by the new challenges but enjoying this step in his career and new responsibilities with new people (administrators, teachers and students).

Elizabeth (Bitsy) is in a public school Montessori pre-kindergarten. Sam is in third grade. He plays piano, and Elizabeth dances while he plays. She had Achilles tendon lengthening surgery this year which should finish her club foot treatments. Candy enjoyed a trip to Milwaukee to be with Rachel and David, Sam and Elizabeth after Elizabeth’s surgery. She now uses her legs in ballet lessons. Rachel is very involved in the kids’ school and continues to nanny some.

Jon continues working as a manager with Siemens in their building automation division. Leanne resigned as director of their church’s weekday preschool. She has been doing some volunteering with some special needs children at the YMCA, which gets her back working directly with children with less stress than being the school administrator. Hannah turned thirteen (yes, we now have a teen age grandchild to remind us we are aging). She runs cross country, plays violin and has established a handmade jewelry business. Isaac is in fifth grade, soon moving from Cub Scouts to Boy Scouts, plays piano and trumpet.

In 2009 and 2010, we were looking ahead to the future, preparing, imagining, praying. But it all seemed fairly remote, something that was down the road but off toward the horizon. But when we returned to Texas from our Pennsylvania trip in September, we felt an acceleration of the journey and immediacy of our future. Our anxieties and uncertainties have been met with affirmation of many people what we believe are God’s confirmations. Many details must still fit together. Though sometimes feeling a bit overwhelmed, we also feel some sense of adventure. Through the moves we have made in 42 years together, we have identified Abraham living in tents in the land of promise (Hebrews 11:8-10) as a metaphor for our journey. In 2011 we are being called to live it in a new level.

Thanks to our dear friends and family for prayers as we go through these transitions. We do cherish your Christmas cards and letters. May God bless each of you in this New Year.

Peace,

Norm and Candy

Erik Starts Management Training with Pei Wei

Last night was Erik's last shift as a casher at Pei Wei Asian Diner in Lewisville, TX, and this morning he began management training at Pei Wei in Las Colinas, TX. As he steps from what had been a good part-time college student job to a full-time professional position, he also takes another step toward independent adulthood. He is working on getting his schedule, finances, etc. adjusted with the goal of moving out of our house and managing all of his affairs. He has seemed excited to go to work each day once he knew he'd be taking this step in 2011. He got up at 6:00 AM today, positively motivated to get off to a good start.

Erik's progress is one more piece of the puzzle we are putting together for our future. Downsizing and becoming more nimble so I can begin a new phase of ministry as an intentional interim pastor - serving congregations in their transitions between pastors. We do not know where this adventure may take us, as we anticipate serving different congregations for about a year at a time. Wrapping up our 10+ years as pastor of Central Christian Church in Dallas, Texas by June 1 and finding that first interim pastor opportunity is a major piece of this puzzle, into which the other pieces will be fitting. Even as we are in the process of seeing Erik off on his own in 2011, we are coordinating and communicating with Candy's Dad (who lives in Minneapolis), so our plans can merge and we can support him at this stage of his life too.

Our emotions are also a cluster of puzzle pieces that are still shifting around before they all fit together: anxiety and excitement, disconnect and anticipation. Lots of prayer - lots of work.